My College Crush (Part-2)

On 15^th September, 2006…. We had a function (CREATIVITY 2k6) on an occasion of Engineers’ Day which was arranged by ISTE members and she was also one of them, there I performed in a painting competition and I got 1^st position.

In the end what I saw…

Divya, with an orange suit salwar… coming towards me without any smile; I was just scared “What happened?”

What did I wrong?

As she stands beside me, she smiled…..

Seemed like a dream for me, and she said “Congrats! You got 1^st position”

“Your drawing is too good”

After hearing these words I was just blank like a dumb. This was the first conversation we had….

I said, “Thank you”

I want resume the conversation but I was afraid of something as I was a shy guy at that time.

As she left, my heart was pounding like anything! And I was regretting why I didn’t say something more……

The 3rd semester was approaching and there was a building pressure of a vast syllabus to complete, a future to think of...

The first year batch had just entered our college... I envied their carefree days... They didn't have a decision to make as yet… I came into this field because I didn't get into a medical college and I didn't intend to spend my precious year to attempt it again… Sometimes I wished I had been more patient… Maybe I would have got to live my dream... The years in college passed in jiffy... I now valued the comfort and security of those years... I felt lost in a vast sea of career choices... My friends had been an integral part of my life here... The best ones I made here... Now we were all heading different directions... I often wondered what life would be like after the last semester and as the answer was getting clearer, I dreaded it...

I was sitting with my friends in the canteen, aware of the stares and silent whispers from the first years... They were mostly loud and immature... Always shouting over the top... My classmates were checking out the new girls... Their last attempt at experiencing a college romance... There was none I was interested in... They all seemed the same to me... I was not looking forward to any link ups... The last year I intended to live the most of my carefree time...

It was a Saturday night and I had been with my friend “Sandeep Singh Sohi”.. I went back home and logged on the internet. I opened my facebook accounts... I rarely opened it and when I did I was flooded with notifications, status updates, tags, friends request ( I usually accepted them without even checking who I accepted) and began checking the thing..(I first made myself invisible to avoid all those who jumped on my chat list to chat).

There was a message in my inbox... Divya... The name did ring a bell... I opened her message... read it.

“jai Shree Krishna”

"Hi.. m Divya.. met u in colg if u remember..

I sent her a reply...

"Hi Divya... ofcourse I remember u that’s y I sent u the friend req. (I can't recollect the words to carry on the conversation.)

Immediately I got another message from her.. God!! She was awake at one in the night...

"ok J..but I can't c u online... "

So I went online  ... She was there... Her profile picture was “Radha Krishna ji”...
we started chatting...

Divya: Hi

Me: Hi

Divya: So u come online at this time always?

Me: No, was out today.. came home now so..

Divya: ohh ok.. Where do you stay?

Me: Ludhiana n u?

Divya: Basically I’m from Himachal, but use to stay in Hostel!!

Me: Ohhh I c

Divya: Your name seems you are Bengali…

Me: Yes! I’m ….but I’m brought up in Ludhiana…

Divya: Bhalo! hehehehe

Me: Can u give me your cell number?

Divya: uhhhmmmm naaah! Not now later! You will always find me right here..

Divya: I’ve to go now…. I was getting sleepy... See u in college..

Jai Shree Krishna!

Me: Okay!

My last thought was... Divya! Divya! Divya!

The wait so long...

It had been 3 months since I first chatted to her... When she said "see you in college", I thought she would also make an effort to meet me. But nothing like that happened... We were still strangers... I kept waiting for lunch time to start, then her to leave the classroom for hostel, always hoping she would notice me... It was disheartening to know that I was just a nameless face in the small crowd for her.

I kept texting her.. Sending offliners.. Waiting long hours for her to come online.. Practically all day I was online... I was losing sleep and interest in other things...

By the end of the first month, I knew her timetable by heart... When my classes left early, I waited till her class ended so that I could see her for sometime... I was always longing to see her...

So I decided to find her contact no. And in the end I got her contact no. from one source.

I sent a text on her cell….

Me: “Jai Shree Krishna”

Divya: who’s this?

Me: I said, “ kiran from ludhiana, creativity 2k6, painting.”

Divya: ohhh, how did you get my no.?

Me: I’m sorry! You never use to b online and I was desperate to have a word with you. Even I can’t see you in college. I’m sorry for it.

Divya: J It’s ok! kiran

We exchanged some texts.. However long my questions, she always managed to answer in one word...

One day out of the blue, she texted me...

Divya: Hey kiran, I want to see who you are.. I can’t recall ur face. Let’s meet!

(oh F*ck!)

I texted her back..

Me: Yes, sure...

Next day when she was in front of me….

I couldn't make out what she was thinking... Her eyes didn't give out anything...

I was tongue tied for sometime...

"Hi... hi Divya" Saying out her name itself was thrilling.

She smiled and said," Hi "

Again I was blank and she said, “Bye I have to leave. I have some assignment to do.”

 "Ok.. ok.. Nice meeting you". She gave me a handshake.. She made me nervous... I ran back to my class and kept smiling.. Here I was waiting for her to meet me all these days and when she finally did, I couldn't stand there for more than 2 minutes.. Hopelessly attracted to her I was.. My legs were shaking...

The days that followed were of restlessness.. I would wait at the bus as she use to come to see off her friend.. She always use to give me a cute smile and that was it.. An occasional "hi" and sometimes "bye" that was all she said. It wasn't getting any further.. My self confidence began to slump.. I waited at my window to sometimes see her going hostel.. Se was occupying all my attention and draining my energy...

It was more than 7-8 months still we were not even close to being "good friends". She didn't like me and it was getting apparent. She was sweet and that was probably why she was acting good to me...

I decided that I would give up on her.. It hurt but I didn't want to be perceived as a desperate one.. Yes I wanted her badly but I had to behave with dignity...

I engaged myself with friends...

Slowly the hours on net became less.. I began to get good sleep.. I stopped waiting for her at the bus stop.. Hardly ever came on the window.. My days were now productive.. I even started liking my study course...

I saw her often in the library.. I never went near her.. Sometimes she saw me and smiled and I too smiled back...

The year 2011 was about to end.. I was living my life again... With a new sense of self confidence...

"If it lasts more than 7-8 months, then it isn't called a crush.... It's love... :)"

Was I truly in love with Divya?

One day ISTE members called me to make some poster. There she was…

I knew that story can't finish here......

She come to me and said,” Hi, how are you”?

Me: I’m fine! N u?

And she sat beside me…. And here the conversation begins…

To see what going to b happen????

Wait for next PART….

(To be continued)

My College Crush (Part-1)

Here the Story begins...

It was the first day of my (B.Tech) degree college. We had strength of 480 students. 120 students in each branch. At that time everyone knows the other atleast by the face if not the name.

I had no idea what I was doing in a college like this one. There was not a single face I knew. Everyone in class had pretty much formed a group on the first day itself. I sat with a few groupless ones who had started to bore in 10 minutes of sane conversation. I wished I had taken up courses which my other friends had taken. Atleast I would have had company. Someone suggested we take a round of the college and as reluctant I was to leave my seat (as I was a shy guy at that time); I didn't want to be left alone to my hopelessness. I went around the campus.

The college doesn't have that much area but it is planned cleverly. It’s amazing how one can get lost in a college that small. I just asked aloud," Where is the library?" when I got a reply

"Go downstairs and you would find it on the left side"

I looked back to where the voice came from and I saw her.

She was tall, beautiful girl in white Suit salwar with colorful dupatta and her face beamed with some unsaid enthusiasm. Politeness was the first thing I liked about her (other than the looks ofcourse).

I very meekly said," Thanks"

She asked," Are you from EC 1 batch?"

(Well she must have noticed already…)

I looked around (foolish I know, but somehow I couldn't hold on to his gaze) and then replied "yeah and you?"

"EC 2 batch... uhmm… "

(ghosh!! I know it's a four year course... did she find me that dumb?)

"What's your name? “She asked.

"kiran Chatterjee (kashyap)" I said..

I wonder if she will remember it… It doesn't look like as it is a girl name)

(She Smiled)

Before I ask her, she introduced herself "I m Divya, from EC-2 Batch"

All I said was, "Oh"

God!! Why was I acting so unusually dumb??

She walked back to her class. I kept repeating her name,"Divya, Divya, Divya". I couldn't suppress my smile… kiran... First day of college and you already have a crush! College is not going to be so much of a torture now…

The next few days of college were boring as ever and I kept thinking of her... I didn't know her last name... I had searched her on facebook only to turn up with no result… or rather thousands of result!! Whenever in college my eyes kept searching for her.

For a few days there was no sign of her. I attended all days in college. Each day started with the same thought," Will I able to see her today?"

For the first time, our classes lasted long enough to have a lunch break. I had made two friends (Kanwar & Mayank) by then. We went for lunch in the canteen which was just good to sit in. The food was nowhere near the delicacies. (Yeah I still ached for that yummy food)

I was seated in a far corner of the canteen and she was there... I strained my eyes to have a better look and to confirm it was really her... Yes, it was she… The beautiful as she was, she was with two friends.

I went up to the counter to have a close look at her and she looked at me... No hint of recognition… She stared just blankly and then went back to the conversation she was having with her friends. It hurt... I didn't expect her to start any conversation but the least she could do was give a friendly smile… Agreed I didn't smile either but I was scared that If she doesn't smile back, it would be a shame in front of her friends.

Days rolled by and I often spotted her with her friend in library... I used to secretly stare at her and many times she did look at me but I knew she didn't remember me...

I looked up the list of EC (Electronics & Communication) Branch students and found out she was Divya Sharma... I found her out on facebook with a picture of “Radha Krishna ji”and sent her a friends request... Then begun the wait.....

(To be continued)

P.S:- People from college please don’t get any ideas!!!!

A Phone Call - Turning Point of my life

It was --/--/20--, 9:13pm (Date I can’t mention)

I was working on my laptop. Just an hour of work left and I could go to bed in peace. I had been denying my friends for drinks. I was not in a mood even to drink today. This new project had put a toll on me.

I was done with my work when I thought of checking my previous email Id. I had a feeling since morning that I was forgetting something about today. Maybe my old yahoo Id could give me the answer. There were some 599 mails! I didn't remember when was the last time I checked it. Anyway Yahoo had some serious spam issues. In the first two pages I couldn't find anything important and assumed that the rest were useless as well. I was about to open the spam box my friend called me, "come soon". I shut down my PC, stood up and stretched myself. I was thinking about today. I told my friends to wait, let me charge my phone and be back.

As I joined my friends, my phone rang. I let it ring. I heard the shower running. One of my friend had gone for a shower. The phone rang once again. It was an unknown number. I answered the call.

"Hello"
           No voice from the other end. Who would think of giving blank calls!!
           "Hellooo" this time I raised my voice.
           "Hello" said a feeble female tone.
           "Yes, who is this?"
           “Name that can’t mention" she sighed almost leaving a cry.

I felt myself getting weak.

"*******" (Let’s take a random name) I whispered.

"I missed you kashyap" she said in that soft voice which could make me do anything!

I felt myself losing control. My weakness gave way to anger. I had once wanted only one chance to talk to her and today when she had called I didn't know what to say!

"Why you call me!" I tried to get angry but failed. Somewhere it still hurt to shout at her.

"Kashyap, I m.. I m really sorry. "
           "Sorry! That's all you say after all that you did year back?"
           "A 2 years kashyap.. 2 years and 4 hours back. I have been counting." she murmured.

"kashyap I want to see you. Take it as my last wish."

"What?? Where are you ?" I couldn't stop worrying.
            "At home. Please kashyap meet me once." she pleaded.

I asked her why you want me to meet?

What happened? She was crying and said “nothing just want to see you and want to tell you something that you don’t know.”

I agreed to meet her. As I kept down the receiver I realized my eyes were moist.

I went back to my friends who were angry. I pacified them.

"Sorry yaar, very tired" I muttered.

My friends were furious at my behavior.

In all these years she hadn't bothered about me then why was she remembering me today? I had forgotten the tragedy which brought into my life but today she reminded me the pain again.

Should I meet her?

But I didn’t meet her.

Few Months Later…

 

When I tried to call her… but for she didn’t pick my call.

One day she picked my call and said “Hey, kashyap how are you?

I said,” I’m ok! And I’m coming to meet you! Then she said no need… I’m already married.

First tell me one thing why you use to think that you are always right? Did you ever try to understand me? (She was sobbing and said ok! Leave it! Take care… bye!)

After hearing that thing, I can’t say anything to her.

Just said, “Ok! Take care"

And she Hung up....

                                 ***THE END***