My Untold Love Story... (Part-1)

Sometime it’s very hard to write some stories on papers. Not because they are tough to explain but actually they are so painful that even thinking about those real incidents fills your eyes with tears and shakes your body in pain. I am writing one such a story (with a few imaginary sentences). But a few years back I have definitely seen, what people often refer as LOVE…….. This taught me the actual meaning of love. Friends! some love stories have very happy endings, some have very sad. But some stories end with leaving nothing for the pages of history. That’s why I have chosen one of them to draft on papers in my story, so that this story remain forever in reader’s hearts.

She & me, we were classmates, very much close to each other. I said very close because I don’t have a scale to measures how much close we were to each other. We knew, we can’t ever afford to live without each other. It was almost like falling in love but still being as if doesn’t know anything. The Most common part to define our love was I jumped, she jumped. I cried, she too. I had understood her & so did she. But unfortunately we couldn’t ever express our feelings to each other. And this turned out to be the biggest mistake for us. It was the biggest turning point, which took our destiny to other way.

After schooling I left the city for some reasons. Years after schooling we met each other on facebook. We started chatting with each other. Both cried a lot as if we were missing each other deadly. Both of us were dying to hear each other’s voice. We exchanged the cell number through facebook. I still remember I was on chat on facebook with her; I suddenly got a call on my cell from an unknown number. I was afraid because I didn’t even know who it is. I shockingly pressed the receiving button; suddenly I heard an innocent voice with a smile. Yes it was she & we had a few Conversations  which I would like to present in a direct speech form.

She: Hey, how are you? Where were you???? You have no idea for how long I searched you but I couldn’t find. You become so smart! kya baat hai!

I: uhhmmmmm…. I’m fine….. (Paused) (I was shocked as she called me)

She: What happened? I think you are not comfortable talking to me…. hhmmm fine, get some rest, we can talk some other time and she hung up.

She texted me, “you are same as you were in school” J  . Shy!!!!

I was so happy as I found her, but I didn’t have that courage to tell her that I love her since school days. How could I make her realize that I had been searching her from the school time to till now…  I was good on painting which she knew since the school time. I wanted to give her a beautiful painting as a gift. No one would believe what I did for that. I made a sketch of her J . It was just her face which I sketched by my own imagination because I didn’t have her picture. I made a plan to meet her & give my sketch. I called to put a request to meet me but  may be my fortunate, before I say, She said “ I want to meet you”. I said “ok let’s meet tomorrow”. I couldn’t sleep for a whole night because of thinking about her & about what I’m going to say & what I’m going to do for her.  It was a Diwali night; we made a plan to meet at her place. Everywhere it was full of fun & happiness but my happiness was more among of others. I did my best to make myself a good personality either it’s well dress up or something on me which could make me better. I have seen people going by car or either by bike. I had nothing like that. My dad had a LML Scooter which he used to take for his job. When I remember that day, my eyes still use to be with full of tears because I left nothing just to see her happy. I took my LML scooter & went on my destination which was on her place (her home). It was around 10:30 at night, I parked my scooter on her yard. I was sweating with the nervousness. My body was trembling but I knew however I had to meet her. I rang the door bell. After more than 3 minutes the door got opened. I saw a face which made me again more nervous, It was she. I starred her from top to bottom. A girl with a purple suit, long straight hair, beautiful eyes. I have no words about her beauty of that day. She smiled & hugged me. When she was in my arms, I thought as if I got my dream & I was so happy. She took me inside & introduced her mom. She asked about a sketch I made for her but I said that I forgot it to bring. Actually I had it in my bag I was just nervous to give her in front of her mom because it was a sketch of her own  face. She insisted me to have something to eat but I pretended as if I have very important work to be finished.  May be after 5minutes, I left from there. She called me twice when I was on my way back to my home but I thought of talking to her after I reach home. I reached home, went in my room, Looked on my mobile, There was something which she had texted & I replied for that…… (Conversation starts)

She:  I still remember you were very good in drawing. Hey, whenever I will get marry, will you come an apply mehndi on my hands.

I: uhhmmm…. But?

She: What?

I: how can I?

She: Why?

I: I don’t know but I can’t…… (Paused)

She: Hey, are you there? What happened to you?

She: Hey,

She: Can I ask you something?

I: Yeah…

She: Do you love me?

I: uhhmm Ya (whisper)

She: Why didn’t you tell me before…..? Paagal…. You know one thing even “I love you.”

I: Sobbing…. (My eyes got numb)

She: You are so shy… ufffff! Come to my place and meet me, even my mom wants to meet you. I desperately want to see you again. So whenever I feel alone, I need you, I will call you, please come even though it may be just for 5 mins.

I: Yeah sure, just give me a call, let me know & I will be there but it’s already late night so you need to take some rest.

She: Ok we will talk tomorrow, goodnight & thanks for coming.

I: Goodnight & take care!

Even though I said her goodnight but I only know how I spent that rest of the night. The whole night   brought only the questions whether I can keep her happy or not, are my whole things sufficient for her to be comfortable or not? Because there were lots of things she didn’t even know for which, I was inferior then her status.

As she belongs to a very rich family where I belong to middle & I knew, one day our status {economical, family} is going to be a strong reason for whatever consequence happens in our love. Every day I used to remind her about our status, she always used to change the topic & used to say “I love you not because of your status or may be a family prestige but I love you because you are a guy having a pure & positive heart”.

As I said, I belong to a middle class family. I didn’t even get an enough pocket money like other guys when I was in my college. Every day, I used to get only Rs 100 from my parents for my lunch & travelling. I still remember, I had a Nokia 1100 phone. The money I used to get for my lunch & travel, I used to recharge my phone & call her & that used to be a happiest moment for me no matter how hungry I’m. At the end, I used to request my friends to drop me till home because my college was a far distance.

One day I came to know that she’s having a best friend named Raj (name has been changed). She said that she has even spoken to him about me & my paintings. But when she said that he got angry when he heard about me from her, I felt something different which was out of toleration seriously saying. I didn’t say anything, just left from there. In the evening she called me & said that she spoke to her mom about my paintings & me. She even said that her mom wants to meet me. But she suddenly changed the topic & started talking about Raj(name changed).

She: I don’t  know why Raj got angry when I told him about you………& you know what he is just back here from abroad after completing his study J He has a car which is my favorite one J…….

Me: I know what happened to him. He is a guy has got a better education than me from abroad. He has got everything & me??? Nothing….. Might be he loves you more L…

But my last sentence made her hanging up the phone. I texted her to know the reason for why did she hang up my call, but not even a single reply came for 2 days. I kept texting & texting, Calling & calling; I don’t know how I have to say it. She suddenly called & said “…………

To be continued…

Things I have learned in my life so far....

They say that time is the best healer and life is the best teacher. Couldn't be more right. I believe the journey of life is a long learning process and you get to learn something or the other every day from a friend or from a stranger. I cannot point out one single instance that has taught me something. A lot of learnings have been put together to form the person that I am today. I've always believed in one thing. If it doesn't succeed, it doesn't mean that it’s a loss. It’s a lesson. A compilation of these lessons is what forms your life. How long you want to stay on a page is an individual choice altogether. Below are a few instances that taught me the most important chapters of life.

~ When you are young, you always crib about the meager pocket money you receive. Like any normal kid I did too. I was from a middle class family and I always hated the fact that my parents hardly had any money to spare. I always wondered as to why my parents earned so less. Mocking relatives and friends only added to the angst. But when I earned my first income at the age of 22, I knew how hard it was to make money. I had to host an event in a mall for an entire day talking my guts out non-stop to least interested strangers for a measly 400 bucks a day. I felt it to be humiliating, but I needed the money. When I stepped out I saw a cobbler sitting in the footpath and mending dirty, wet shoes of random people. I saw a man hurl a coin at him. At that time, the 400 rupees in my hand felt like a million bucks. And I understood the pain my parents went through to make the money they made. It is very hard to make money I learnt. But if you are lucky, you will be blessed with a decent medium to make it. Best ever lesson I've learnt till date.

~ As I started making a regular income I grew confident and independent. As I grew older I failed to acknowledge the fact that my parents were also growing older. I was so lost in my work and my personal life that I hardly had any time for them. But I remember when I was 3 years old and on the verge of being diagnosed with pneumonia. I was in ICU for few days, where doctor clearly said that “your son is in very critical situation and may not survive…..” My dad took couple of weeks off from his work just to take care of me. At that time he didn't work in big multinational companies so a day off meant a salary cut. That was hardly on his mind. They selflessly cared for me and bet everything whatever they had for my treatment, that was when life threw its biggest lesson at me. No matter what, you should never forget the core of your existence. I was here because of them. They could have chosen to flush me down the drain the minute I was conceived, but they didn't. They gave me life and I shall spend the rest of my life taking care of them. And for this I would give up on anything. Or anyone.

~ Then I fell in love and lost myself to it. Everything for me then revolved around this emotion and the person associated with it. When it went kaput after few months, I couldn't regain myself. I fell into depression and lost track of my life. I took a sabbatical from work just to brood over it. One day when I saw myself in the mirror with droopy eyes, damaged skin and disheveled hair I went to my cupboard and brought out my old photo albums. In those pictures I was laughing and there was true love in my eyes. For life. I did not recognize the person in the mirror any more. I was a stranger to myself. That was when I realized that love is a part of life and I probably was more in love with the idea of love rather than the person. The next day, I was out of depression and back to leading a normal life. I have fallen in love many times after that but have always held on to me. Never lose yourself to anything or anyone. A brilliant lesson that life taught me.

~ I’m with the same company for 3 years and I make a decent amount of money. But my friends who have jumped jobs make twice of what I'm making now. It bothered me a lot initially. But when I had a get together with all of them, it vanished. All they did was complain about their work. The timings, their boss, the distance, the client and what not. I had nothing to say. They all looked at me and I said, "I'm sorry. But I actually love my job". I'd rather stay in a place I love than do something I hate for more money. That day I learnt, never to compare myself with anyone. If you are happy, stay happy. Don't look at others and wish for their lives.

~ When I was dealing with an on-off relationship a friend of mine offered some advice. I blatantly refused to take it and instead abused him for speaking about something he has no idea about. Turns out, he was fighting a similar battle along with ailing parents and a career not going anywhere. I console myself for it. No kidding. That's when I learnt to never be rude to anyone. As everyone is fighting a battle with themselves.


These are a few lessons that life taught me. I saw and I learnt. And made them major mile stones in my life.

These are a few lessons that life taught me. I saw and I learnt. And made them major mile stones in my life.